Wowzers, folks: Check out the Martin Margiela Incognito sunglasses if you’re looking to put a visor on your face that’s about as big as three elephants standing trunk to tail.

We’re not sure if these lenses will protect your eyes from the sun, or if they’ll bury you so deep underneath a layer of a pitch that you’ll be in a coma for six weeks. These are definitely not your run-of-the-mill sunglasses, gentle readers. These are for serious professionals only.

The Martin Margiela Incognito sunglasses are essentially a gigantic, single-element visor hammered into a luxuriously thick frame and then smeared across your face from ear to ear. You’ll be protected from all of…